Sometimes, or for a sadly large number of people, often we go through the motions of what we are meant to believe a normal day is meant to be. We make our beds (tucking in the corners) and brush our teeth (reaching for the unreachable molars) and do our laundry (and even iron except i never do) and go to work (staring at the clock and smiling awkwardly at our bosses) and catch the subway (please do not board the train until all passengers have exited) and come home (taking our shoes off at the doorway) and eat dinner in front of the television (go to bed early) and fall asleep late all with the anticipation that we will do the same thing tomorrow (except tomorrow I will pay my bills and take out the trash and do all the things that I tell myself to do the next day). And the stage is set and we have memorized our lines and we do this play every day so we are not only experts at it- we don’t even have to think while we do it! but then there are those moments, the ones that remind us that our hearts are fragile and ready to burst from love, sadness, etc. Things happen in our lives that are not part of the routine and they shake us and move us in unexpected moments that are often indescribable. Yesterday, I sat in a crowded victorian theatre to watch James Earl Jones and Vanessa Redgrave in “Much Ado About Nothing”. The play was amazing and at the end I felt it- everyone felt it and we all clapped until our hands were raw and my heart was bursting with love for art and theatre. Today, I walked down a desolate street in London after a very heavy rain and now light sprinkle feeling like I was the only person out enjoying the blotted purples and oranges of leaves as the rain and I trampled over them. And I had the most sublime melancholy, that awareness of being alone and being incredibly thankful for it while also a little sad. I sometimes force those moments on myself. I watch movies over and over that make me cry or when I want to remind myself that I have a heart. They are sometimes Wes Anderson- that man is a genious at tugging at heartstrings in the most subtle and unusual ways. It can be art or seeing a couple in love or biting in to an especially sweet or bitter fruit or realising you have nothing to say to someone you once loved or listening to the beatles on a road trip. This is why I am ok with life and all the awfulness that I can not erase but only hope to help ease someday, somehow.