Puppy love. That tumultuous relationship that sucks you in, leaving you breathlessly declaring love at first sight. With a vulnerability stemming from unfamiliarity, it isn’t hard to be wooed by a few romantic dates, precious whispers, and the glow emanating from your cheeks as your gulp down this unspoiled and novel feeling.
This puppy isn’t a person. Those dates weren’t real dates. Am I that shocked that I wasn’t the only person that London revealed it’s luminous cityscape to after a bad rain? Or the secret spot at Hampstead Heath? Those whispers of belonging were really just a distraction for me as I walked down the busy streets aimlessly and that warmth I felt was really the amazing ales that the pubs serve up. Oh, the ales.. The one consistent and unfaltering aspect of our relationship.
Just like those first few weeks of a heart-wrenching fling, things get old fast. The first week that I got here, I immediately found an amazing internship at an exclusive art gallery. Riding the subway like a boss, I was dressed to the nines for my nine-to-five. I was settled in to a routine, one that involved the hellish task of finding an affordable room to rent in London. It was after a day at work and a typical tube ride home filled with a train of miserable workers that I realized I hadn’t even explored other parts of the UK yet. Like all great/ tragic romances, I’d jumped in too quickly and was now so consumed I had no time for anything else.
Naturally, as a person of integrity, I quit. No, the internship wasn’t the problem but the fact that I felt locked in to London because of it was. And after doing that, I was able to see London for what it is.. A beautiful, historically fascinating city with amazing places, art, people, and unfortunately so many fucking tourists crowding Oxford Circus so that they can go in to one of the ten Top-Shops in the area. It wasn’t that London lost it’s luster, it’s that I had just shown up in a completely new country, and lacking stability, decided I needed to settle there. Since quitting the internship, I’ve been able to go read at one of the many ponds and parks every day, take advantage of all the free museums, see plays, and get a drink at noon. London is a wonderful place; it is insanely crowded for a reason- so many people want to live here. I just don’t think I do. It’s far better off as a fling for me- The beauty is forever etched in to my memory…I don’t want to ruin that by marrying it out of convenience.